Caregiver Shaming
Most people who find themselves in the position of becoming a caregiver are people who possess a high level of emotional intelligence, deep empathy, and a strong sense of duty. These qualities are admirable but also put them at a high risk for being the victims of shame based bullying.
The shaming can come from a variety of sources:
Patient to caregiver shaming
Patient initiated shaming and/or bullying. Bullies are usually people who are no strangers to feeling powerless. Unfortunately, many patients find themselves in a dependent or powerless position. This situation puts them at increased risk of using the little power that they possess against their caregivers. This may manifest itself in many different ways. Examples may include:
Not allowing anyone else to participate in caregiving. They want to have their person and only their person.
Not being willing to try things that could make life easier on the caregiver, like using a lift so as to preserve the caregiver’s back or a push wheelchair instead of a motorized wheelchair or cart
Saying things like “You work for me”
Saying things like “You are trying to over medicate me”
Caregiver to caregiver shaming
Caregiver initiated shaming and/or bullying may sound very counterproductive. Why would you shame someone that is in the same position that you are in? Reality, most caregivers are tired, run down, and in need of care themselves. Therefore, their feelings may at times get away from them. Caregiver to caregiver shaming may look very different than other kinds of shaming. Examples may include:
Always criticizing, about things that don’t matter. Personal choices that are not right or wrong just personal
Calling or texting whenever you are out of their sight. They make sure that you get no away time
Making you feel like your ideas or contributions are of less value than theirs
Trying to be the patient’s “favorite” caregiver
Family/friends to caregiver shaming
Making you feel like they are doing you a favor when they have to “babysit” the patient
Minimizing your sacrifices by intimating that it all comes natural to you, that you were made for this role
Caregiver to self shaming
Thinking things like:
“I should be strong enough to deal with this on my own”
“If I were the one in need of care, they would take much better care of me than I am taking of them”
“Asking for help is basically telling my loved one that they are a burden”
“It would be unloving to put my loved one in a full time care facility”
DISCLAIMER: THIS BLOG IS GIVING MEDICAL SUGGESTIONS, WHICH CANNOT REPLACE MEDICAL TREATMENT. IF YOU ARE IN NEED OF URGENT MEDICAL CARE DO NOT DELAY TREATMENT. SEEK TREATMENT NOW.
